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February 17, 2004

COURTROOM NEWS....An appeals court has upheld the Do-Not-Call registry. Hurrah!

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, a semicolon is holding up a ruling on gay marriage:

Superior Court Judge James Warren told plaintiffs late this afternoon that they would likely succeed on the merits of their case but said he would not issue a court order until they corrected a punctuation error in their legal filing.

"I am not trying to be petty here, but it is a big deal. That semicolon is a big deal," Warren told attorneys, according to an account by Associated Press.

My high school teachers always warned me that grammar and punctuation would turn out to be more important than I thought someday....

Posted by Kevin Drum at February 17, 2004 07:06 PM | TrackBack


Comments

Ah, the plucky semicolon. I always suspected it was the most courageous of the punctuation marks.

Posted by: scarshapedstar at February 17, 2004 07:15 PM | PERMALINK

That semicolon is a big deal.

Quote of the week!

Posted by: Chris at February 17, 2004 07:17 PM | PERMALINK

The semicolon is so gay.

Posted by: Mike at February 17, 2004 07:23 PM | PERMALINK

I shy away from conspiracy theories, but the behavior of this judge has me wondering if he's not trying to help the gay-rights cause by letting the City (which is a much more proper appellation for SF than 'San Fran' or 'Frisco', in case anyone cares) perform upwards of 4,000 ceremonies, thus creating a potentially vast pool of litigants and people impacted by this that might cause the state to think twice about lowering the hammer on SF for this.

I think we all know that regardless of what this one judge rules, both parties (Christofascists and Mayor Newsom) have shown a willingness to carry it at least to the CA Supreme Court. So that leaves us to wonder why the judge wants to allow as many marriages as possible.

Of course, I like this. Just wondering.

Posted by: eugene at February 17, 2004 07:24 PM | PERMALINK

No sooner do I pop off with nutty theories than I hear that the judge says Gay marriages by SF appear illegal. So what do I know. (not much).

Posted by: eugene at February 17, 2004 07:29 PM | PERMALINK

The semicolon is an unnatural abomination. It's inclusion in civil sentences is an intrusion into the sanctity of punctuation. What is more, the semicolon serves a superfluous function, unnecessary for the future fecundity of grammatical creations.

God created commas and periods, not semicolons!

Posted by: jon at February 17, 2004 07:32 PM | PERMALINK

The very presence of the word "colon" in the word alludes to the disgusting homosexual practice of sodomy. How far will this liberal infiltration go? And how will we explain it to our children?

Posted by: scarshapedstar at February 17, 2004 07:34 PM | PERMALINK

Hey, that's nothin' compared to what I'll drop on those "Nearer to God Than Thee" wackjobs if I find any dangling participles ...

Posted by: Judge James Warren at February 17, 2004 07:34 PM | PERMALINK

The do not call list, it's "hurrah", it's, "OOOOO RAH" in the manner of R. Lee Ermey.

Posted by: Matthew Saroff at February 17, 2004 07:51 PM | PERMALINK

jon and scar,

Hilarious!

Posted by: Jim E. at February 17, 2004 07:56 PM | PERMALINK

God himself tells us that a punctuated sentence fragment not ending in a period will be ended by a colon or a comma. The sinful union of a colon AND a comma is thus against God and therefore to be disallowed in any writings officially recognized by our Government.

I suppose there's little we can do to stop deviants and perverts from using the so-called "semicolon" in the dark and secret lairs in which they practice their assault on the American language, short of passing laws against it and constantly condemning them and outlawing their behavior. But that is what we must do, or else society will break down and not only embrace the "semicolon" but also start using little pictograms of children, polygamists, close relatives, and beasts instead of the commas and colons that God dictates must be the true and only enders of sentence fragments that are not themselves ended by periods. Period!

Posted by: aplomb at February 17, 2004 07:58 PM | PERMALINK

should read It's NOT hurrah, it's OOOOO RAH.

Posted by: Matthew Saroff at February 17, 2004 07:59 PM | PERMALINK

Those damn semicolon's are so un-American. I also think those french-looking ampersands and the arabic number sign are even more of a growing and gathering threat what with their punctuation-related activities.

Posted by: jack at February 17, 2004 08:05 PM | PERMALINK

"In documents filed with the court, the Proposition 22 Legal Defense and Education Fund had requested a court order that would force the city "cease and desist issuing marriage licenses to and/or solemnizing marriages of same-sex couples; to show cause before this court."

"The way you've written this it has a semicolon where it should have the word 'or'," the judge said. "I don't have the authority to issue it under these circumstances.'"

Good call by the judge. If these litigants expect the court to deny a whole class of people legal rights available to all others, the least they can do is file a proposed order that is intelligible!

Good calls by both judges.

Posted by: obe at February 17, 2004 08:09 PM | PERMALINK

I think it's great about San Fransisco.

Maybe this is one of those cases where the semi-colon is important. I.E. the judge thinks the conservatives were right, but the semi-colon creates a problem that could be brought up on appeal, and so if the judge is going to make a ruling that isn't overturned on a technicality, he has to wait for it to get fixed. Thats what seems like is happening.

Posted by: TomK at February 17, 2004 08:11 PM | PERMALINK

I think this is a great thing for SF and for people across the world. How can we say that our country is all about life, liberty, and the persuit of happiness if not all people have the same rights. For some people they need to be married to be happy... but if our government doesn't allow this, aren't they impeding on their rights? I mean... come on.

If a couple of guys or girls are married to each other, what big of a deal does it make to YOU? But look at how much it means to them.

We are all human no matter race, religion, or sexual preference.

Posted by: Gary R. Hess at February 17, 2004 08:19 PM | PERMALINK

Actually, speaking as a litigator experienced in such things, if the submitted order were defective simply because of a punctuation typo and the judge were inclinded to grant the substance of the relief sought, the judge would simply ask them to submit a corrected order by the end of the day, or have the court clerk type up a proper order right there, or even use a pen to hand correct it, and then sign it.

I think the judge just used a simple-to-correct technicality in order to justify not acting on granting or denying the preliminary injunction. As frustrating as that might be to the lawyers in the courtroom, I say, go judge!

Posted by: aplomb at February 17, 2004 08:23 PM | PERMALINK

This rampant marrying of homosexuals in California will only lead to love, devotion and life-long committment!

Someone has got to put a STOP TO THIS!

Are you people insane! Do you realize what will happen if this continues across this great land!

Why, people who love each other all across this nation will decide that THEY TOO want to marry and spend the rest of their lives with someone.

No way, I'm not gonna have any of this!

Posted by: jack at February 17, 2004 08:24 PM | PERMALINK

Funny, Kurt Vonnegut claims the semicolon is completely useless and is akin to a "Transvestite Hermaphrodite."

Posted by: Splooie at February 17, 2004 08:43 PM | PERMALINK

This is why California is so great. Love you crazies down there.

Posted by: Sugar Plum Fairy at February 17, 2004 08:48 PM | PERMALINK

I always cry at weddings...

Seeing those lines, watching the ceremonies, watching the love and joy of the couples...It's almost too emotional, even at a distance on CNN.

And even more important is just how normal all these people are. They are you and me and any relative of ours at a special and joyous time. That too is very clear.

The more people see that these are just ordinary loving couples, the more difficult it will be for the bigots to demonize them as "immoral" and "threats to social order."

They are not "threats to America." They are America. They are us.

Posted by: clio at February 17, 2004 08:55 PM | PERMALINK

"The use of semicolons to separate parallel expressions that would normally be separated by commas is not in itself illegitimate; but it must not be done when the expressions so separated form a group that is to be separated by nothing more than a comma, or even not separated at all, from another part of the sentence; to do it is to make the less include the greater, which is absurd."

-- Modern English Usage

Posted by: H. W. Fowler at February 17, 2004 08:57 PM | PERMALINK

Wake me up when we get to the good stuff...

"Definition: In language, a diphthong is a gliding vowel sound normally represented by two adjacent vowels. In typography, some diphthongs are represented by a single ligature character (joined letters). The most commonly used diphthong ligatures are æ, oe, AE, and OE."

Dip AND thong in the same word...$4.95. Gliding vowels...Joined letters - priceless!

Posted by: JimmiRayBob at February 17, 2004 08:58 PM | PERMALINK

No, the proper appellation now and ever shall be *Frisco.* "*Frisco be it by day, and *Frisco* be it by night..."

And seemingly unnoticed in all the triviality about gay marriage is the really important story: Bonds needs to find a new trainer!

Posted by: DrZhivodka at February 17, 2004 09:03 PM | PERMALINK

It sounds like a reasonable enough decision to me. The way I parse that sentence, the semicolon implies 'and' where what they mean is 'or'. Very big difference.

Posted by: neil at February 17, 2004 09:06 PM | PERMALINK

Jon says: The semicolon is an unnatural abomination. It's inclusion in civil sentences is an intrusion into the sanctity of punctuation.

Yes, and the intruding apostrophe you added to "its" shatters the sanctity of punctuation like a farting dog in a chapel.

Posted by: Grammar Cop at February 17, 2004 09:24 PM | PERMALINK

So, as one half of one of the 2.5K abomination couples that were created this weekend, I just want to give my thanks to all you faceless names out there cheering us on. And to apologize to any of you who's spouse has spontaneously divorced you, abandoned your children and church, and ran off to join us in the freezing rain and hellfire to help bring about the end to civilization.

"And this story takes place in the most wonderful cities of all cities. The totally fictional city of San Franclisco."
-Haiku Tunnel

Posted by: JamesK at February 17, 2004 09:50 PM | PERMALINK

I sit corrected. Thank you.

Posted by: jon at February 17, 2004 09:55 PM | PERMALINK

At last the semicolon comes into its own. I am so pleased.

I do believe that the judge is in no big hurry to issue an injunction against the City and County of San Francisco, although I think that eventually he will. After all, San Francisco is clearly in violation of state statute (that nasty piece of business known as Proposition 22). Of course, the judge may decide to accept the city's position that the language of Proposition 22 is contrary to the equal-protection provisions of the state and federal constitutions. Either way, of course, there'll be an appeal.

Now who would have thought that San Francisco's new mayor would be so ballsy?

Posted by: TonyB at February 17, 2004 09:57 PM | PERMALINK

I forgot to mention: On Saturday down in California's Central Valley, my nephew and his fiancee were married. For some reason, they didn't seem to feel that their heterosexual union was invalidated by the same-sex rites simultaneously being conducted in San Francisco. And I was so sure that I heard somewhere that regular old marriage was going to collapse. Must stop listening to rightwing Christian radio. (Of course, the only other listening choice in the Central Valley is country-western.)

Posted by: TonyB at February 17, 2004 10:01 PM | PERMALINK

JRBob: But what about.. the ligature. *pant pant drool*

Posted by: dix at February 17, 2004 10:02 PM | PERMALINK

FWIW, Equality California claims that the media simply got it wrong.

Posted by: Manish at February 17, 2004 10:26 PM | PERMALINK

Any word from the people scouring the records in Alabama to prove President Bush did not show up for duty? Has anyone looked at the records that were released to see if there is any evidence there that he was AWOL or a deserter as Kevin, Mr. Moore and Mr McAuliffe charged? What is going on on the Burkett front? Where are we on this celebrated hunt for evidence?

Just curious.

Posted by: Dennis Slater at February 17, 2004 10:39 PM | PERMALINK

James: Congratulations to you and the 2,499 others. :) It looks like a whole bunch of great occasions. Very best wishes for here on out!

Posted by: Bruce Baugh at February 17, 2004 10:47 PM | PERMALINK

At least the "Alliance" didn't submit their brief in five-paragraph essay form.

Posted by: DavidNYC at February 18, 2004 12:11 AM | PERMALINK

About the do-not-call list: Why were these marketers even bothering?

What were these people thinking? Did they expect that if they won their case, the people on the list would magically become delighted to receive those calls? That, having clearly established their dislike for this marketing method, call recipients would be in any way likely to buy whatever the phoners were selling?

Any marketer with a lick of sense would be grateful for the heads-up that calling these numbers would be a waste of his valuable time. But these guys are mostly Republicans, no?

Posted by: Molly, NYC at February 18, 2004 12:15 AM | PERMALINK

JamesK--Congratulations! Hope you and the mister will be very happy!

Posted by: Molly, NYC at February 18, 2004 12:18 AM | PERMALINK

I think I'm a semicolon myself, having had half removed due to cancer :)
Some thought this was a catastrophe, others just apostrophized

Posted by: Epacris at February 18, 2004 12:35 AM | PERMALINK

U-Turn in Kerry sex row
From BRIAN FLYNN
in New York

THE father of the woman said to have had an affair with US Presidential hopeful John Kerry has made a dramatic U-turn.

Terry Polier pledged to vote for the super-rich Democrat after daughter Alex, 27, publicly insisted she had not had a fling with him.

Yet just four days ago, Terry branded Kerry, 60, a “sleazeball” and said he and wife Donna would NEVER support him.

He said: “I know my wife will not be voting for Mr Kerry, let’s put it that way.

“Two years ago he was all for gay marriage, now he’s against it. Not that I care one way or the other, it’s just there have been so many things where I have seen him reverse. Whatever audience he is talking to, he will tell them what they want to hear.”

The Poliers’ about-turn sparked fears that they had been put under pressure by leading Democrats, who have hailed Kerry as the new JFK.

Both Kerry and Alex have denied any affair.

Posted by: a at February 18, 2004 01:19 AM | PERMALINK

drudge and his hardy boy news sleuths just don't want this story to go away...They know what's around the corner for bushCo. The abortion revelation that the media IGNORED last time around.

This time it's payback for all that hese traitors have done.

Posted by: c at February 18, 2004 04:48 AM | PERMALINK

Regarding "semicolon-gate" These issues are being discussed on the NY TImes gay pride message board, among people who actually know what's going on. Don't believe everything you read in the print media.

Posted by: raj at February 18, 2004 04:49 AM | PERMALINK

JamesK, as one who was just very happily married, I wish you and your partner all the best for many years to come.

If gay marriage would lead to breakups of normal marriages, as some whackos fear, all I can say is where were you when my first wife was trying to drive me to a mental institution. You'd have been able to do me some good, then.

Posted by: Chuck Nolan at February 18, 2004 05:48 AM | PERMALINK

Wow, Lynne Truss would love this anecdote.
Her book is full of similar stories.

Posted by: Matthew at February 18, 2004 06:00 AM | PERMALINK

dix,

Ahhhhhhh...the ligature. Obviously I was too enthralled with the whole gliding vowel thing.

Posted by: JimmiRayBob at February 18, 2004 06:16 AM | PERMALINK

Why do semicolons hate america?

Posted by: smartone at February 18, 2004 06:27 AM | PERMALINK

Is the court filing written in C++ ?

Posted by: ManOutOfTime at February 18, 2004 06:34 AM | PERMALINK

I would like to add my voice to the chorus of congratulations. As one who will be married in June, I wish the best for Jamesk and everyone, both gay and straight, who is getting married.

BTW, the judge did NOT order San Francisco to stop granting gender-neutral marriage licenses; it was a "non-binding order urging the the city to halt the weddings and [which] told the city attorneys to return March 29 to explain their legal position" according to the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Posted by: Grep Agni at February 18, 2004 06:55 AM | PERMALINK

More congratulations to JamesK and everyone getting married. The images from SF this week have been some of the happiest things I've seen in a long time.

If you're going to argue against someone it helps to understand their point of view. But I really can't understand the mindset of anyone who would want to prevent such a wonderful wonderful event from happening all across the country.

Again, congratulations and hears to thousands of long and happy marriages.

Posted by: Brian Weatherson at February 18, 2004 07:13 AM | PERMALINK
non-binding order

Oxymoron of the year?

Posted by: cmdicely at February 18, 2004 07:21 AM | PERMALINK

James K - congrats! May you have many happy years together!

Posted by: JLawson at February 18, 2004 07:26 AM | PERMALINK

ManOutOfTime - yup... the judge threw it out because of parse errors.

Also.. **Congrats, JamesK!**

Meanwhile, we've still got work to do over here in Boston... but I'm pretty optimistic that people will get married here soon.

Posted by: Yopparai Catholic at February 18, 2004 07:53 AM | PERMALINK

More congratulations to JamesK and anyone else getting married.

(I have some stupid comments back on my blog.)

Posted by: Matt Weiner at February 18, 2004 08:04 AM | PERMALINK

No, the proper appellation now and ever shall be *Frisco.*

Okay, this plus Matt "Economic Tinfoil" Young and "If we allow gay marriages, everyone will have one" Charlie is the last straw. Kevin, can you look into getting an "ignore" feature into the comments section so I don't have to read this kind of offensiveness? :)

Posted by: Hamiltion Lovecraft at February 18, 2004 08:28 AM | PERMALINK

I live in San Francisco, and back in the late '80's, I worked as a Para-Legal in a large law firm. We were defending large corporations that were being sued by their former employees for Asbestos-related illnesses. One day I came to work and found the entire Asbestos division of the firm in an uproar. One of the lawyers had submitted legal papers in a particular case, and at one point in the text a comma had been omitted in what turned out to be a crucial sentence. This altered the meaning of the sentence suffucuently that it cost us the case, and the plaintiffs won something like a $150,000 judgment. I worked there for about two more years and throughout this time, the legend of the "$150,000 comma" became part of the lore of the Asbestos division.

Antoinetta III

Posted by: Antoinetta III at February 18, 2004 09:14 AM | PERMALINK

NOW when my girlfriends asks me why I haven't bought her that engagement ring yet, I can just point down the road at city hall and exclaim "It's all the gay people! They've ruined the whole idea for me!! It used to mean something, but now it's all a sham...a SHAM!!!"

Unfortunately, she's a smart woman and is unlikely to fall for it...

Posted by: Hart at February 18, 2004 09:19 AM | PERMALINK

Congratulations to the happy couples and cheers to Mayor Newsom. I wish our elected leaders here in Mass. would rise to the occasion the same way (some states reps and senators have been just great, but the governor, house speaker, and senate president have not. To say nothing of the likely presidential nominee, but that's an issue for another day.)

I got married a little over a year and a half ago--the idea that whether I get to stay married would be subject to a referendum in a few months is absurd, and the very opposite of "protecting the sanctity of marriage" but that's exactly what the Mass. constitutional amendments propose to do.

Posted by: Katherine at February 18, 2004 09:46 AM | PERMALINK

In 1994-5, my partner and I, along with 3 other same sex couples, challenged Ontario's step-parent adoption laws that prohibited our kids from having two lawfully responsible parents. (It's called re K)

As it was a constitutional challange, the law firm doing it spent a LARGE bundle, ~$100,000,in pro bono work.

We won, and as with any adoption, one of the free perqs was the ability to change the names of the kids.

We stuck a hyphen between our son's last two names. We've always called it the $100K hyphen.

Alison

Posted by: Alison at February 18, 2004 10:25 AM | PERMALINK

JamesK: So. You finally made the fella into an honest man. About freakin' time.

Posted by: Ed at February 18, 2004 10:47 AM | PERMALINK

I covered a court case once in which the placement of a comma determined whether the bulk of the estate of one of the town's richest people went to certain descendants or to a foundation he had set up.

There was enough money going to both sets of parties in any event that no one suffered, but the difference in the placement of that comma ran well into seven digits.

Posted by: Lex at February 18, 2004 11:16 AM | PERMALINK

In modern Greek, the semicolon is used as a question mark.

Wonder if we should point that out...

Posted by: Grand Moff Texan at February 18, 2004 11:49 AM | PERMALINK

I wonder if we should nickname Michael Powell (of the FCC) "semi-colin"

Nah, he isn't half the man his father--uh--was

Posted by: raj at February 18, 2004 12:35 PM | PERMALINK

The Do Not Call List is the greatest thing since canned beans.

I used to get 3-6 calls a day from telemarketers. I get none now. It is amazing. Every so often I do get a call and I tell them that I am on the National Do Not Call list and not to call me again and that seems to take care of it.

A government program that actually works!

Posted by: Dennis Slater at February 18, 2004 12:55 PM | PERMALINK

I covered a court case once in which the placement of a comma determined whether the bulk of the estate of one of the town's richest people went to certain descendants or to a foundation he had set up.

I read about that case or one similar to it. Amazing.

I worked in the pharmaceutical industry in research and our submissions to the government had to be perfect. We had a guy who had the unusual ability to sniff out misplaced or missing punctuation. He was amazing. An anal retentive's anal retentive. Everything we sent to the FDA went through him. This was before grammar and spelling checkers. We went through several layoff periods and he always made it through although his real job could have been easily eliminated.

Posted by: Dennis Slater at February 18, 2004 01:00 PM | PERMALINK

First, congrats to all the newly-married couples. May you long enjoy the fruits of your new civil liberty!

second, the judge is ducking. I've participated in any number of hearings in which the court will make handwritten changes on a proposed order. My guess is that he knows that the plaintiffs are entitled to the relief they seek until such time as a higher court strikes down the constitutionality of Prop. 22. But since he doesn't want to be the mean-spirited bastard who stops the marriages, he will duck the issue, hoping to get some relief or direction from the court of appeal before he's forced to rule.

Francis

Posted by: FDL at February 18, 2004 02:58 PM | PERMALINK

Whether or not you get to make last minute corrections is up to the individual judge. When I was in law enforcement I spent a lot of time in front of a judge who would go ballistic about spelling or punctuation errors in informations or complaints.

In the neighboring township, the judge would just change it to suit himself and you could initial changes.

I learned that when a judge starts sounding "reasonable and polite", you were usually about to be reamed.

Posted by: Bryan at February 18, 2004 03:55 PM | PERMALINK

Look, folks, the semicolon jokes are fun and all, but the story's just not true. Judge Warren (grandson of the author of Brown v. Board of Education) didn't make this ruling based on the semicolon.

Read the Equality California release Manish posted above.

Posted by: Rieux at February 18, 2004 05:32 PM | PERMALINK

I'm glad to see that we have so thoroughly trivialized the law. As if help were needed in this area. . . .

Posted by: Ben at February 18, 2004 07:00 PM | PERMALINK

The one thing that could force me into supporting a constitutional amendment defining marriage is if gay marriage becomes law by judicial fiat. I will be thoroughly outraged if gay marriage is effectively legalized in my state by a judge declaring that a marriage created by the ruling of the Supreme Court of Massachusetts (or California) must be honored here. The last time I checked, we lived in a democratic republic. I demand the opportunity to have my voice heard and taken into account by MY elected representative. If a free and fair vote is taken and the legislature acts in a way I don't like, I will accept the result. If a tyrant in a black robe imposes the result, I will not accept the result as legitimate. Gay marriage should be addressed by the legislatures of the several states.

Posted by: Ben at February 19, 2004 08:23 AM | PERMALINK

Ben: majority rule has no place in civil rights! The courts have the duty to enforce civil rights whether or not those opposed to civil rights are the majority who turn out to vote in any given election. I don't care what your opinion is on interracial marriages, same-sex marriages, and on who should be forced to sit in the back of the bus.

Posted by: thom at February 19, 2004 09:04 AM | PERMALINK

thom:

"The courts have the duty to enforce civil rights whether or not those opposed to civil rights are the majority who turn out to vote in any given election. I don't care what your opinion is on interracial marriages, same-sex marriages, and on who should be forced to sit in the back of the bus."

So, if NAMBLA or brothers / sisters simply say over and over they are being denied their CIVIL RIGHTS, you'd agree with some judge granting that too?! I hope you draw a line SOMEWHERE!

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